The Compulsive Emailer

More than 100 years ago, the great neuroscientist Ramon y Cajal identified a clutch of “diseases of the will” that could derail a young scientist’s career. In today’s computerised world, dominated by smartphones and the Internet, this list deserves an update. In particular, a constant connection to the web has given rise to the Compulsive Emailer*.

The compulsive emailer has a particular rhythm and pattern to his day. Upon waking, he reaches for his smartphone, and, bleary-eyed, checks to see whether anything of import occurred during the course of the night. Science being a rather solitary and gradual endeavour, this is unlikely. Instead, a tinge of disappointment greets the usual automated adverts from journals, and the deluge of mail from obscure technical discussion groups.

Arriving at work, the compulsive emailer checks his smartphone in the elevator, and, after making coffee, sits down at his desk to deal promptly with any urgent missives received during the intervening five minutes. For the rest of the day, metronomic checking is never more than a couple of clicks away. The worst cases may even dedicate a separate screen to their inbox, allowing checking to be done with no more than a glance of the eyes.

Sometimes, in moments of reflection, the compulsive emailer will become frustrated with his lot, and yearn for a job in which email is center-stage, such as a political aide, or a journalist. At least then, his affliction would become useful, rather than be wasted on the continual archiving of dubious invitations to attend far-away conferences.

The curse reaches fever pitch, of course, a few weeks after submission of a paper. Convinced that the letter deciding the paper’s fate will arrive at any second, he hits the refresh button with renewed intensity. Fortunately such occasions are relatively rare, as time spent on any real work is dwarfed in comparison to that spent toiling at the inbox.

The compulsive emailer would do well to restrict e-communications to a particular time of day, perhaps the late afternoon, after time has been given for things “important and unread” to accumulate. He will be pleasantly surprised how quickly email can be dealt with, and dismissed for another day, while relishing the expanses of time that will open up for doing real science.

Retiring for the evening, he makes a few final checks of the smartphone, explaining to any company present that he is expecting to receive some new data from a research assistant.  What he is going to do with those files at midnight on a Sunday is anyone’s guess, but the implication is that they are really rather important.

*The author, being a Compulsive Emailer, is well-qualified to describe this condition.

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